I've been hiding...under a happy put on a smile kind of face. For the last 2 years I've done my best to "pretend" to be happy...smile even when I wasn't smiling on the inside. Well, today I declare I deserve to be happy not just appear happy.
Leaving all the sob stories out...I stand tall and will be not only a happy wife, mother, childcare provider...but a happy Danielle!
No more "oh woe is me". No more excuses of "I can't find the time to get it done". I'm posting post-it notes all around to remind me I am worthy, reasons why I'm losing weight have been posted on the fridge', pantry, and cupboards. Positive thinking notes are posted on my mirror in the bathrooms.
Ok moving on...
My monthly visitor must be on her way b/c everything is making me tear up the last 2 days. Anything from tragic stories I see on TV to even watching my kids play. Ugh I hate being a woman sometimes...
But also I have realized time does not stand still. My sweet little princess came home this week with a letter about high school orientation. What? It can't be that time already. I miss rocking her to sleep, reading her favorite books over and over, playing Barbies where she constantly tells me what to say, painting her little piggy toes. Where did the time go? Now she's busy...but without me...texting, chatting on Facebook, going to the movies w/ friends, hanging out at school events...all of which would be totally embarrassing if her mother tagged along.
I'll be the first to admit...raising 5 kids is hard. Wearing on me each day in a different way. As I look back on the last 13 years of raising children different stresses come to mind. I am reminded how hard they were being a single mom of just 1to now being a married mom of 5. I wish I could just sit on the floor and read, play, snuggle, and just be...watching them all play together...enjoy and teach each other...but time doesn't stand still.
So another thing I announce today...I will find more ways to stop stressing and enjoy my children for all their differences and stresses they bring:)
Alright...sorry to be a Debby Downer today...but sometimes you just need to vent. And being stuck at home for work and everyday life leaves you with little adult contact..so thanks for listening my bloggy friends. Promise next post will be surely upbeat!
We've all been there (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI could have written your first paragraph 18 months or so ago, until like you, I decided to get happy.
I was hung up on the fact that everything was overwhelming and I wasn't getting help at home, etc. Then I realized that I wasn't asking for help or me time, just expecting someone to know I needed it and give it to me. I started standing up for me and got a lot happier in the process.
Hang in there. I promise it will get better.
I totally agree with Melissa. Let people know what they can do to help you :-) I hope today is a better day!!
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies...I really appreciate all your sweetness and inspiration. I am so glad I have found some mommy blogs to keep me going:)
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