Tuesday, November 16, 2010
33! A new year and I'm up for the challenge.
Today is my birthday! YAY 33...I know you're thinking "No way! You look so young!" But oh yes...today begins another year of my life. I'm excited for the unknown like I've never been before. Today begins a new chapter. An unopened gift full of 365 days of more life until the next big day.
This morning I woke up with the same old plan. I wasn't expecting much...just a day with a few FB messages from family and friends wishing me a happy birthday, 4 little boys that wouldn't even know it was my birthday unless someone told them, a daughter who would probably be reminded from FB, and husband who tries to pretend he didn't forget but who buys flowers before leaving work (he isn't home yet so maybe he didn't even get them this year)...he did get me a new Dyson a few weeks ago upon the death of our old vacuum (but the fact that a household cleaning tool is my present kind of sucks b/c it would be nice to get a real surprise one of these years but you can't teach an old dog new tricks I suppose).
But to my surprise by midday I had a whole new view on things. I'm tired of the self loathing and the "oh woh is me" mentality. I did get A LOT of FB messages today, my daughter remembered 3rd period at school and sent me a text, and then she and the 2 little boys helped make me a chocolate cake when she got home, and my big boys cleaned up and sang Happy Birthday to me. Anyway, about halfway through the day today I decided that this was the year. A new beginning! A year to let go of unnecessary anger, forget about the hurt and pain, and realize the bad things don't define me.
If there is anything that I've learned from the blogging world is that everyone has a "story". A past that paves the road to who they are. Well I have been holding on to my hurt and pain for too long. And this year I'm going to put a little fork in the road and change my path.
I'm ready to LIVE again! I'm ready to work toward those goals I've been putting on the back burner. I'm ready to turn my dreams into reality. I'm ready to keep a journal, put the pain and anger into words and rip it up and let it go, and write my goals and focus on those instead.
So this my friends is going to be a complete life changing year. Starting today I will find the Danielle that use to not only watch life but make it happen. I'm ready for this challenge! Stay tuned for big changes:)
Happy Birthday to me!