Sunday, February 28, 2010

Just a quickie...

Boy wouldn't my husband enjoy that if I said it out loud...with 5 little creatures running amuck all the time I don't know if we'd even have time for that...especially since the second they sense I've gone to the bathroom or gotten on the phone they hunt me down like a hound dog. I can only imagine how fast there noses would travel if they knew daddy and I had a second of alone time. They would for sure think they were missing out on something good.

Anyway, after that random note...

I have completely over indulged myself this weekend. I spend all of Saturday being Taxi Mom driving 3 boys back and forth to baseball, a birthday party, and Princess (she's been super helpful this weekend)to a friends to work on a project, and a million other errands. I took the Little's to breakfast at Chick Fil A Saturday morning b/c we could eat for free if we wore our PJ's. Heck ya I'm there! I love free anything:) Then after all the millions of things we did all Saturday I was in no mood to cook so out to dinner we went. Then today I decided we needed a yellow cake w/ chocolate frosting just because it sounded good. And well tonight I made myself a bowl of mint choc. chip ice cream.

I am afraid that because I know I have my first weigh in on Thursday for our Biggest Loser Challenge and I want a big weight loss next week to win prizes of course....wait does this mean I'm playing the game? I should be losing weight regardless...it's about a life style change not prizes. But I think I convinced myself it was okay to eat "crap" b/c I was starting fresh on Thursday.

At least I did get my workouts in.....Zumba and tons of cleaning...so hopefully that offset the awfulness of my indulging.

Now that I'm super stuffed I'm falling into bed into what I hope if my last indulging food coma. I'm not gonna gain my 10 pounds back this week just to have to lose it again starting Thursday.

Side note...I love Zac Brown Band and enjoyed getting to watch their special on CMT today. I actually went to high school w/ Jimmy who plays the violin...and we actually worked a hot dog stand together when I was in 8th grade.

I know super random tonight..I'm sure it's the sugar overload! I'll go sleep it off:)

Friday, February 26, 2010

Hello? Danielle? Are you there?

After two weeks of changing pills for this reason I have finally figured out I am a little off. Okay a lot off. I'm moodier, one minute I'm down, the next I'm buzzing around getting things done, and then I crash and I'm super tired. I have had a few bad headaches this week and felt a little nauseous at night and first thing in the morning. And today I think I even said "Hello Danielle are you even in there anymore". I'm secretly hoping I've run off to this glorious island where there are no worries...just relaxing...on the sand in the sun...sipping something fruitybut since I'm sure I haven't been granted this one wish by some mysterious genie in a bottle I am here feeling a little bit like a teenager with all these hormones driving me bonkers. The only difference is I have realized my problem and am learning to control my sharp tongue and temper...well for the most part after I've already shot off at my husband or kids once or twice...my patience has been not so much this week.

Between feeling a little wacky and this precious Crazy Girlwho really is a teenager I am wondering where I went and what happened to me. Crazy Girl (who I think I have only referred to as Princess on here, but she is no longer this precious Princess...hormones have taken over her body and she is a true full blown teenage Crazy Girl)has been really mean to me lately. She thinks it makes her "cool" or something to make fun of me. Every time I open my mouth she seems to have something snide to say. If my voice cracks, or a little of my southern accent comes out, or if I use the wrong words or get tongue tied...she feels the need to comment rather rudely and make fun of. This morning it happened 3 times alone...I then quit talking to her which infuriated her. Well, two can play this game chica! I've been there, that snooty patooty, I know everything kind of girl....and now that I'm being pumped full of more hormones I'm there again...only now I'm smarter and really do know more....so look out honey cause you're not gonna win! Oh sorry maybe that was a little much...but truly raising a teenage girl can make you feel real dumb real quick...

I told her this morning that she can act cool at school and like she's smarter than me...but at home you're just a little girl and still my child....and the rudeness will not be tolerated...there I put my foot down...showed her whose boss...or well just maybe acted a little immature and just quit talking to her. Either way I'm not happy about this new Crazy Girl that has joined our family. Boo...I miss my little girl that used to love to snuggle and color with me. Now I'm just an irritating nuisance who makes her clean up after herself and do her chores...but still continues to provide a warm clean house, yummy dinner, and clean clothes. I'd hate to see how she'd treat me if I made her do these things for herself...sheeesh.

I'm truly venturing into uncharted territory. Don't get me wrong she's always been a moody girl...with a bad temper...and hasn't always been the easiest child to raise...but now she's as tall as me and probably really is smarter than me...and all of the sudden she's going to be 14 in a couple months and going to high school. And at the risk of sounding really old raising a teenager these days is so different. From cell phones, to Facebook, to anything else on the Internet and of course the same old sex and drug talks (not that we are dealing w/ any of these issues but we talk very openly about all of it)...there are so many "new" things out there. Many new things that we talk about very openly in the hopes of not allowing her curiosity to get the best of her. We talk about the "sexting" issues that now go on among teens...we've drilled it in her head about what a bad idea it is. We've talked many times about drinking and drugs...and let me tell you I have learned so many new things that kids are doing to hide it and I can't even believe some of it's true. All I know is right now I am thankful that the only issues we are having are her rude tongue and occasional moody temperament. But hearing stories of young girls being caught doing things to boys that they shouldn't even know about at this age really scares me. I am now seeing why God has blessed me with only one daughter! Of course I wouldn't want my boys doing these things either...and I openly talk to them as well. But I think girls feel a little more pressure to please and make friends and boys happy and want to fit in.

No one ever said being a parent was easy...so I'm trying to stay ahead of the game...read up on what's going on out there....get out of my little naive world...talk with other parents and teachers...and keep the Internet locks on...monitor her cell phone...and keep tabs on where all my kids are at all times without being overbearing or intrusive...and give as much love and understanding as possible. Oh boy I have my work cut out for me!

Maybe one day if all my kids make it through okay I'll write a book...about how real life is...and not all these cutsie fairy tale type famiyl stories. The Harsh Realities of Being a Parent in a New World....catchy dontcha think?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

100th post and I just can't wait!

Well, my list isn't much shorter than it was this morning even though I busted my boo tay all day. I have a yummy carrot cake cooling off waiting to be frosted for hubby's birthday. His b-day is tomorrow, but since he has to work overnight I wanted to celebrate tonight after he gets home from baseball practice. We celebrated with his twin brother last week when we were down in Tampa, but he loves carrot cake and I wanted to celebrate at home too.

So, anywho...The whole reason for my second post of the day is because I have two super cool things to talk about and then I realized it is my 100th post. So I just couldn't wait!

Okay 1st things 1st. Yesterday I signed up for....drum roll please....this

I am so excited to have joined a team to do the 3 Day Walk for the Cure. 60 miles in 3 days of walking, and camping out with inspirational people, and raising money for a great cause. Another reason for me to keep my running/walking training going. I have until October to raise $2300 and train, train, train!

And this next challenge is exactly what I need to get my mojo back and keep me motivated for my walk.

I am super duper excited about this! Our elementary school where I used to teach and 2 of my boys go has an awesome nutrition committee. Last year they had fitness nights where they came out and taught Zumba, Yoga, Boot Camp, and other fitness activities to get the parents and children involved. Well this year they are taking it a huge step further and doing the Biggest Loser Challenge. Antoine Dove from last seasons BL is coming next Thursday to kick off the event. There are weekly weigh-ins and prizes to be won. The weigh-ins are based on parents percentage of weight loss and the students have to keep track of various activities each week. It's a challenge for the whole family to keep the kids active and to make the parents accountable. This isn't just about mommy and daddy telling you to eat healthy, but it's about the whole community coming together to fight childhood obesity and stay active. I think it is a great way to get families together to work for a common cause and spend more time together and plan healthy meals. For me this is the kick in the butt that I need. After all right now I'm the only one who sees the scale...and now I am going to have weigh in front of other people. If that doesn't motivate me I don't think anything will. I will weigh in every Thursday and be accountable for our meals and activities.
My plan is to make a menu every Sunday and post on here for the week. Also, I will post my workouts and the activities that the kids will be doing. I will post my weight and any other things I learn from the challenge.
If all goes well this will spread through our community and how great would it be to get this going at other schools and fight this fast moving disease among children!

I can't wait! Of course I've already told myself I can relax and take it easy for the next week until the first weigh in. I'm not being too strict on my eating and I'm taking my workouts this week in stride. I need this time to plan...plan meals, talk with the kids about what they would like to try, what activities they want to do, plan my workouts and look for new things to keep me motivated. I am trying to come up with some sort of notebook for meal ideas and fun workouts. And I think having the kids involved is going to be really exciting. Of course baseball season has just started and with 3 boys playing it's going to be crazy...but I'm hoping to get some easy fast and also healthy meals planned. This time of year for us always turns into lots of fast food and not many meals at the table together. But with this challenge going on it will get me planning better and not relying on drive-thru's.
So here we go! Lots of reasons I am going to change my life for the better. I'm well on may to being a happier and more healthy mom:)

And by the way, thank you for reading my venting this morning and for such positive words and letting me know we're all "real" people:)

Livin on a Blog

You know like "Livin on a Prayer"...only it's in cyberspace. I read other blogs and imagine them as my own. I have voices in my head that keep me going, but sometimes they don't always match my actual life. I read about other people and wish it was my life. Moms and Dads going on dates, moms that get to stay home and be with their kids but not adding in the work aspect, young women eating super healthy clean foods and spending lots of time at the gym, women eating organic and vegan foods, women clipping coupons and saving tons of money for their families, moms getting to go on playdates and volunteering at their childrens schools, moms having MOPS groups or bible studies with other moms to share their friendships with, couples having dinner parties....

My life is good right? I have 5 healthy kids and a husband who has a great job. We aren't suffering in this economy. My husband and I both work, bringing in money to support our family, and though we still live pay check to pay check we are at least getting a pay check. My kids have lots of toys and clothes and have healthy meals prepared for them daily. We aren't suffering like so many others.

But I am tired. I seem to be in some sort of rut. I feel like a complainer. We don't have a perfect marriage, as I am sure many others don't, but I feel like sometimes I put so much work into it and get little in return. Many days I feel like I am a mom and wife that looks like a chicken with my head cut off. Constant cleaning, laundry, cooking, planning, blah blah blah and I can't find a way to get ahead. My list is long...really long. Do the dishes, wash the laundry, fold the laundry, put it all away, make a grocery list, cut coupons, spend and hour and half at the grocery store shopping, put it all away, cook breakfast, make lunch, cook dinner, get the kids ready for school, or baseball practice, or just to leave the house, or bathtime, bedtime, get homework done, make sure they do their chores, fix boo boos, make doctor appointments, pay the bills, organize something, clean out the van, vacuum, mop, dust, clean bathrooms, get ebay stuff listed, run this one or that one to this friends or this event, walk the dogs, feed the dogs, bathe the dogs, clean up after the dogs...and the list goes on and on. Oh yeah and hello I am supposed to be Danielle too. The one who is supposed to be eating healthy, losing weight, looking good to her husband, dressing nice so as not to embarrass her kids, being patient and understanding of her children and husband. But I want to stomp my feet and throw a fit. Throw in the towel. Call it a day. Sleep in, take a day off, read a book, get my nails and hair done, go to the spa, but if I do the next day will be H E double hockey sticks and this whole place would fall apart and it would stress me out more to get it all cleaned up and too much would pile up and add more to my list.

I used to be a real go getter. Not a complainer...after all I was a teenage mom who put myself through college while working full time and raising children. I used to get my workouts in first thing in the morning and stayed in good shape. Dated my husband, kept the romance alive with surprises, read to my kids every night, taught them to read, had a mostly clean house...maybe I only dreamt that part of my life. But somewhere along the way I've lost that person. I'm thinking of posted a WANTED poster looking for her.

I don't like to admit defeat. I don't want to apear weak. But having 5 active children to keep up with has left me tired. And really craving myself at the same time. People used to say they wanted the Hollywood life....well I want the blog life. I'd like to combine a few if I may. The one who has surprise dates with their husband, clean and organized house, gatherings with friends, children who are always clean and do their chores, moms who have time to do really cool crafts with their little ones, ones with beauty tips and organized closets and kitchens...

HA! Do they really exist? Or are most just showing the good stuff on their blogs? Please tell me other moms have this crazy life...that some of you have struggling marriages, laundry that isn't done, you don't always eat healthy, you fall off the workout wagon too, you have times you want to give up and feel defeated...like everything you do just isn't quite good enough??? Please tell me you're real too!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Nude Beach!

This is where I will live in my next life! I am really excited about the thought of living in a place where no clothes are required...but only because I won't have much laundry to do. Ahem hello I am on a weight loss journey...so I am obviously super skinny and too cute for words in my next life. All of this makes me very excited thinking about my next life. Although I am hoping it's not too soon as I am not ready to leave this one yet, but the thought of no laundry makes me really happy. Considering right now my upstairs hallway I'm pretty sure would qualify for an episode of Hoarders. I have done no less than 8 loads of laundry since we returned form our mini vacation. I would take a picture, but I am pretty sure someone might call Family and Children Services which would lead to me losing everything that completely stresses me out and makes me completely happy at the same time..i.e. my kids and my job!

So at the risk of losing it all I will just describe it to you...

Everyone in the house has their own clothes basket making laundry much easier to manage. Except when each one is full and I still have a laundry room full of sorted piles that are spilling out into the hallway and also filling up our entire bathroom floor. Plus, genius me, decided to go through the boxes of clothes that have been outgrown by the other children to try and get the next size for the next child. Which has caused 10 more piles of unnecessary clothing items. I, of course, can't just take them out of the nicely labeled boxes and place them into drawers. They must be washed first. And since the weather is not cooperating and staying a certain temperature I must have various seasons worth of clothes in their drawers. And of course they share rooms so it's not like I have a ton of space to put all these clothes. Which leaves me thinking, "Wouldn't it be easier to just let each child have 5 shirts and 5 pants and just rotate them each week?" That would certainly be a lot easier on the washer and dryer. But no no not me...I see a sale and have a coupon and next thing I know I'm buying out GAP and Old Navy's clearance section. Chances are someone is wearing that size and if not someone will grow into it.

After many boxes, piles, and laundry room spillage I have realized I have a problem. I buy too many clothes for my kids. Maybe because I've never felt I could buy "cute" things for myself because I don't look as cute in them as they look on the hanger. Things don't fit right. Too tight in my thighs, too big in the waist, too short, too long...you get the picture. Also, when I was young my mom being a single mom could not afford a lot. We shopped at the less expensive stores and I was not the "popular in style girl"...which led me to really be a kind of tomboy of sorts. I always envied the girls who could shop at the mall and buy the popular brand name things. Of course what did all of this mean...nothing really...but it has made me really want my kids to "fit" in. I want them to enjoy their clothes and look cute and stylish. Of course I have 4 boys and only 1 girl who really cares. The boys could pull something out of the dirty pile and could care less. And luckily my daughter understands Holister and Abercrombie aren't in the budget unless we find them at consignment stores or they are hand me downs. So really it is me. I am the problem to all of this laundry over piling...I always shop clearance, consignment stores, Ebay....but I am probably spending just as much b/c I buy so much.

Anyway, that nude beach is sounding exciting as I am sure no one there cares what name brand I can or cannot afford...or what fits or doesn't fit me...

Unfortunately, I think it all comes back to how I view myself. So, my goal this month is to clean out and de-clutter the clothes. Ebay the good stuff they can't wear, hide all clothing store credit cards, and use the Ebay money to pay off those credit cards. And after cleaning out my closet of clothes I cannot wear and when I am closer to my goal weight I am going to spend a little money on myself and find something I can wear that makes me feel girlie, and pretty, and worthy of my own "cute" clothes.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

MIA Vegetables!

Don't worry I'm still alive! We took a little vacation last week and returned today. The kids have a winter break, and we took the opportunity to go down to Tampa and visit my husband's twin brother and his family. We haven't been down in 2 1/2 years...and we used to go 2 or 3 times a year so it was a much needed visit.

Of course while I'm on vacation I gave myself a break counting points and just wanted to eat and not stress and think about losing weight. I haven't been eating bread and gluten products for about a week and a half so I think my body is really ticked at me right now. We only ate out once and the other times we cooked, but I was not eating vegetables like I should and I also ate too many processed foods.

Tonight when we got back the family wanted shrimp fettuccine Alfredo. My body was saying "Don't you dare!". So I sauteed a little shrimp w/ Cavendar's seasoning with a huge helping of broccoli. It was so yummy...and for dessert I had a Clementine. Mmmmmmm so yummy! I love shrimp and broccoli w/ a little EVOO and sprinkle of Greek Cavendar's seasoning. I know my body is happy and full tonight.

I also drank a ton of Diet Coke while we were gone and especially when we were driving. So tonight I guzzled probably half a pitcher of water. I feel like I'm already cleansing my damage. I have started planning our meals for the week and I am really excited about all my fruit and vegetable purchases.

I am sure I gained a couple of pounds back...but this week I am more than determined to get back in the gym and get my eating back in check. I have my calendar made to finish out this month's workouts, and I'm looking forward to a new 10 Minute Solutions DVD that Melissa sent me for her Valentine exchange.

I will try it out this week and give a full review along the way! I also have my Boot Camp DVD I've got planned and 2 nights of Zumba scheduled in. Maybe with the weather being halfway decent I can finally get in a run or two.

My plan is to weigh myself in the morning and get my journals back out and keep track of all points and workouts. This is going to be a great week!

Friday, February 12, 2010

This crazy boy...


This sweet boy loved the snow...but only for a minute...it was a lot more fun to watch the big brothers play from inside.

He was the best baby....ever...never cried...was always happy and smiling...would lift anyones spirits who might be feeling down...didn't sleep great at night, but was the best nurser of all.

He is the youngest of 4 boys and 2 girls.

Loves to help mommy in the kitchen...even when she doesn't want him to...like when she's trying to unload the dishwasher quickly...but he enjoys putting things back in and slamming the door or taking out the dirty ones and putting them away.

But ever since he was 18 months he has decided that throwing fits is a good way to get noticed. Mommy doesn't give in...because well she's seen it all before...except he's really good at dragging his screaming self in an inch worm sort of way...all around the house wherever mommy goes.

He has lots of friends...but doesn't like to share. (He is laying on and hoarding all the pattern blocks so no one else can play.)

But he does love Ring Around the Rosie!
He smells super yummy after a bath..is very soft and snuggly...loves to brush his teeth...and is good at getting into trouble all on his own.
He's very good at cleaning up his mess...
But is the one who makes the most!



He's full of spunk and charisma!

He cheers for mommy everytime she goes potty. And is so sweet to say "bye bye pee pee". It's really great in a public place!

He loves all of his brothers and sisters....as long as they are cooperative and do what he wants.

Everybody loves to give him kisses! Like I said he's really soft and smells super yummy.
He's a great snuggler! And enjoys being the center of attention.

And I am blessed to get to spend everyday with him. Even though he makes me really tired and does not allow for much down time. He goes and goes until he can go no more...

He's my baby...and I love him so...and I am more than blessed that God chose me to be his mom.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Creepy Old Guy @ the gym wearing booty shorts

I know...ewwww right! My original post was going to be things @ the gym that drive me crazy. But this title was much more fitting for my evening at gym.

So, I'm 32 years old, wearing sweats and t-shirt, sweaty, working hard, probably panting at this point...now I will say I do not wear my wedding ring to workout because well I swell and I don't think I would ever get it back off...

Ok, back to COG (Creepy Old Guy). I got off the elliptical after 25 minutes and headed to the weight machines. I'm just lifting my legs, counting my reps., probably lip syncing, and out I feel a presence. You know that erie feeling when someone is near you or staring at you? I look to my left and this COG is staring at me. He's lifting his arms on this machine...and he might be 45 or so..but looked older and creepier...he gets up and walks in front of me...booty shorts and all...and looks back at me as if to say "I know you're looking". I think I might have even shuttered...maybe I even said "ewww" while I was singing along to my I-Pod.

He walked off. I finished my reps and moved back to the elliptical for 20 more minutes. Next thing I know he's staring at me again. I see him walk back and forth in front of my machine several times...each time I'm trying hard to avoid eye contact. I just kept on going thinking I might be on the this machine all night if he doesn't ever leave.

After 45 minutes of elliptical and 15 minutes of leg machines- I headed for the track for my cool down and stretching...well what do you know...COG came walking along. I turned up the I-Pod and my cool down turned into a run...and off I went for another mile.

I finally got completely tired and made it look like I was headed for water and hit the elevator instead. I grabbed Princess and the boys and we were out. I avoided all contact...and was so please w/ myself.

I have never been "hit on" at the gym...or been watched to my knowledge...and I had no intention of starting w/ COG!


ICK! BLECK! YUCK! GROSS! And booty shorts? Oh no!
Maybe next post I can comment on the other things that DRIVE ME CRAZY @ the gym.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Back in the saddle again...

So after last week's news I fell off the wagon...luckily I haven't completely undone my hard work and it should be reversible.

Yes I am an emotional eater. I know this. I also know that I am good at convincing myself the next day will be better....and convincing myself that my husband likes me the way I am. Why am I wanting to lose weight? Who cares? Mmmmm this McDonald's cheeseburger is good. Well, why not have the ice cream? I've already messed up...might as well enjoy the food the rest of the day. I'm already married...I have 5 kids. I look good for having 5 kids. Who do I have to impress?

I wonder if I'll ever really hit "rock bottom" as they say. Why do I work my butt off exercising and eating healthy just to go and eat a ton of unhealthy carbs...and repeat repeat repeat....???

After questioning myself on this journey (all while I was loving my ice cream) I finally said "Self you are doing this for you. You want to be healthy. It is true when you eat healthy you feel good. When you eat lots of fat you feel blah....and your moods are really yucky. You like the feeling of those "skinny" jeans. You like the pride after a great day of eating healthy and working hard." I realized the key word was "YOU".

This morning I woke up with a "can do" attitude. I really do want this. I really do enjoy exercising. And I really do feel better and am in a better mood when I eat healthy. Lots of pep talks and hopefully I will get through. Although I don't feel the "rock bottom" moment that others talk about turning their lives around. Which is scary b/c maybe I'm not ready. But my hope is that I can do this...and keep off the weight. Not just do it and add it back on over time again.

Something I am trying this week - I read an article in a woman's magazine this weekend about being gluten intolerant. I have all the symptoms...joint pains (my knees, elbows, and ankles have really been throbbing), GI issues, yo-yoing weight and moodiness to name a few. I figure it can't hurt to try it out. So I'm reading labels a lot more and also preparing lots of fruit and veggies containers for easy access. This week I have done a lot more prep. after grocery shopping so I don't have the excuse the crap something crappy just b/c it's easy.

Has anyone else tried going gluten-free? If so any advice would be great. I am reading up a little more today to see what hidden words might also mean gluten besides the obvious wheat stuff.

Have a good day!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Harsh Realities

Well, the week started off w/ a bang...and now it's had some blows. There are some days you just want to sit on your bootie and do nothing. Well, today is that day....but I must push on. Work, school time, laundry, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, mopping, laundry, bathroom cleaning all need to get done...along with a list a mile long w/ things like bills, making appts., registration stuff, and the list goes on.

But all I want to do it SIT on my butt! You see I'm in a bad place right now. A little depressed if I can be so honest w/ people I don't really know. But that's what I started this for. To blog...share things, get things off my chest, journal...

I have been having some women issues for quite sometime now. You know one of those things you really only share w/ your husband. I cry to him about pain and fear. Well, he finally said that's it "You need to go to the dr."

But I was afraid. Afraid of new I never wanted to hear. Well, it really was time and so I made the appointment the "girly" dr.

I dreaded yesterday. But was also optimistic for a good outcome or solution to my pain. After an ultrasound and a few other tests...she broke the horrible news to me that I never wanted to hear. "I think it's time we consider an ablation of sorts. Not quite a hysterectomy but it does mean no more children."

I knew it. To me this is devastating...most don't understand. "You have 5 healthy children. You should be happy." But for me this is what I know. This is what I am. A mom. Pregnant. Anticipating a new birth. Raising children. For the last 14 years.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I just never knew how much I would truly love it. I figured two or three children. But I always want more. Even after 4 and 5...I still want more.

After sweet #4 was born I remember discussing tubes tied. This was really hubby pushing for this. I remember how scared I was to finalize things.

After #5 they asked me again...


I just couldn't bring myself to "be done". I have thought about another baby everyday. It is somethings that is in the back of my mind at all time.

It's moments like this I can't believe I won't have again...





I am blessed with 5 of the most beautiful healthy babies. And even though we didn't officially have #6 in the works...I'm sad by this news that there probably won't be a #6 for me. The official news will come once the tests are finished. But the dr. seems to think there is nerve damage to the uterus...and this is what is causing my excruciating pain.
I will pray like I do everyday. I am asking God that if this is his plan for me to please take my want of more children away.

I know I am blessed. I know there are too many women out there who have lost children or cannot conceive at all. I hurt for these women and know that I will be okay and I am blessed and thankful.

But for today...I want to sit and sulk for a minute. All of this "list" will be there tomorrow.

Monday, February 1, 2010

No Way! Are you sure?


This my friends is a picture of me in my size 8 jeans....weight approximately 152 pounds.


And this my friends is a picture of me in my size 6 jeans...weight as of this morning 143!

Wait! Are you sure? Let's see another one...

Yes! Yes they are! Size 6! I haven't worn size 6 in years!


9 pound weight loss...last month I said good-bye to the 150's, and I am so ready to say "Buh Bye" to the 140's. February is going to be a great month!