Monday, July 12, 2010

Holla... Finally Something I Can Win!

This morning I saw Mommyologist's new contest. "Not" Mom of the Year! And I thought, "Well hell Danielle you could totally enter that contest. Especially since it was actually pointed out to you yesterday that you should be more grateful because you obviously totally take being a parent for granted. And it bothered you so much you couldn't sleep thinking that other people don't think you appreciate being a parent. Oh and you were informed that you apparently yell at your kids too much. Oh and how about all the times people have said 'You have your hands full.' Which obviously implies you look like a total mess every time you go somewhere." But as I was thinking all of these things and crying all night over harsh comments that were made to me yesterday I couldn't come up with one truly catchy story that would entertain and really show my "Not" Mom of the Year side. And because I am such a "great" mom and this was difficult to find a few flaws to discuss...I decided to leave it up to my kids to prove to me today that I am totally "Not" Mom of the Year material.

This morning I was loading a few pictures that I had taken of the kids last the park...while it was raining...because I was insistent on getting some summer photos. And right after this one was taken, that cute blond boy in the middle, slid down the slide right into a puddle, and got soaked.

I believe the words "suck it up" escaped my mouth. I didn't want to hear any whining...after all I was there to take "happy" family photos....of our extremely happy family! See that sweet Princess in this picture? Not too long ago she yelled at me one day saying, "I'm calling DFACS. You are the meanest mom on the planet." My reply to her, "Here's the number. Just remember they are taking you away... not me. I get to sleep in my comfy bed while you get a new family...let me know how they are."

While I was loading said pictures a certain 2 year old was MIA. I didn't hear any noise so I continued enjoying my silence.

After I was done with my FBing, blogging, loading pics...I decided I should be a mom and get the kids showered (I think it's been more than 2 days)and get them ready to go to the library. Because the teacher in me reminded me that the kids go back to school in 3 weeks, and well we haven't been to the library once this whole summer, and the kids have summer reading lists to complete. As I'm yelling to my offspring to hurry and get in the shower, I see this on my counter...

Hmmmm!!! "WHAT?!?!" "Holy Goodness! Who cut their hair?!?!" To which my super sweet, silent, 2 year old says, "Me Mommy. See" (pointing to his head)

Yes that is a small cut on his forehead because he used a daddy's razor to cut his hair. So as I picture all of the horrific things that could have happened while he used that razor, I decide to hurry up and get them showered and out of the house.

So we shower, get dressed, pack up the kiddies and realize it's 12:00 and I haven't fed them lunch. So after packing them into the van...that I am certain would not pass any health inspection test since there are french fries from 2005 shoved beneath the seats and a few sippy cups of curdled milk...I run back into the house to grab a box of frozen Uncrustables, a few apples, a box of gummies, and some very sugary juice boxes...and head back to toss them at the wild pack of hungry and now caged animals.

Finally we're off to the library with a 10 year old, 8 year old, 4 year old, and a very very tired 2 year old. Said 2 year old preceded to yell at me almost the whole 30 minutes we were there. It was more than I could handle, so I quickly grabbed the kids lists, asked the lady at the desk to help me, and warned the 4 year old to please not let the 2 year old get a hold of his books.

I reminded the kids about how we take care of library books, always holding them under our arm so we don't break the spine, how we gently turn the pages one at a time, and how we most certainly not let the 2 year hold them when we read to him because he could tear them up. Well, I never warned them about leaving them where the puppy could get a hold of them.

Crap! Now I must pay for this library book and take it in to explain what happened. I'm pretty sure when I take it in I will most certainly be reminded of a what a GREAT mother I am not!

And after a very long day and night I have finally sat down to blog. While I sit here, at 10:00, I am being pelted with paper airplanes and listening to screaming kids arguing over who should get to jump off the couch next. I'm tired. And have accomplished what feels like nothing today. I need to clean the kitchen, put away the mile high pile of laundry, and put the heathens to bed...before my husband comes home and truly thinks I did nothing good today.

The good news is tomorrow is a new day...the bad news is they get to wake up to the same ol "Not" Mother of the Year. But I wouldn't have it any other way...because how boring perfect must be...and my days are never boring:)


  1. I want to punch people in the face who say that I have my hands full. I really do.

    I laughed a little at your day- b/c I can relate. I think if we get through the day, and still have all the kids, we did okay!

  2. I have totally had one of those "got nothing done today" days!!!

  3. You are SO right. Perfect is totally boring...and who wants that? I believe I've used the "suck it up" phrase a time or two myself. Because somedays the whining really does get to be more than I can take!! I totally understand!!

    Thanks so much for entering our contest!!

  4. What a crazy day! And with four kids God bless you! I can't get my stuff together with 2 kids.

    Thanks for linking up with us and entering our contest!

  5. I especially love the "family pictures" story! I used to take pictures of the boys together and make my own Christmas cards. The photo shoots usually ended with me screaming, "Stand still and look happy, damn it!" Yeah, that says Merry Christmas :)

  6. You've got my vote hooker!

    I didn't enter this one... Because AHEM, I won Prom Queen...

    And I didn't think it was fair to take TWO awards from the Sexy Mom herself!!!


  7. You are my type of mom, I am following you now.

  8. Great answer to your daughter! When mine tell me I'm mean, I just answer, "I can be meaner." My littlest guy literally shaved his head with his oldest brothers electric razor - it was a sad day. He had a reverse mohawk! We've definitely got our war stories:)

  9. This is GENIUS. OMG. I;m sooooooo happy to come across your blog via this contest.

    What you wrote is MY FREAKING DAY, almost every day (except for the teenager's hormones to deal with). Love that you handed her the #. You go girl!

    Love that your little one was missing and shaved his head. And love even more that you admit you forego the more imp mommy chores (such as general hygiene [my kids get cleaned about once every 4 days], actually feeding them, and removing the curdled milk sippies from the car).

    I could have written this post myself.

    I will totally be back!

  10. D, I just read this and had to send you some love! Who could love being a mommy more than you?! This post was a great laugh, and your stories always amaze me. Those are 5 lucky kids! -Mandy