Friday, July 30, 2010

Scary, unknown, a fear I've never felt before!

See this beautiful girl?

Well as of this coming Monday she will be a freshman. Her first year of real Independence.

And the first truly scary year of her mom's life! Scarier than being pregnant at 18. Scarier than being a single mom. Scarier than any night full of colic and screaming. Scarier than any temper tantrum. Scarier than many sleepless nights with millions of ear infections and busting ear drums.

Really and truly folks this is the time she needs me most. Not when she skinned her knee learning to ride her Barbie bike for the first time. She needs me more now than when she swallowed her first tooth and was so scared the tooth fairy wasn't going to find her. More than any bad dream, or her first "break up", or when the "mean girls" have been mean.

Because the true decisions come now. The first real decisions that will ultimately affect the rest of her life. True the classes and grades are important. But the decisions that will ultimately be thrown upon her...drugs, sex, peer pressure of any magnitude. Those are the true decisions that will influence her life.

She has her head on straight. She knows where she wants to go in life...It's truly the other kids I'm scared about. The other parents medicine cabinets that they find the drugs to experiment with. The older boy she might have a crush on. I was a teenage girl once too, and I remember the great feeling when I found out a boy thought I was pretty. I remember my first kiss and snuggling on the couch like it was yesterday. But times have changed (oh boy do I sound old) and things are even scarier than they were for me.

Oh where did the time go? One minute I'm rocking this precious girl and reading her bedtime stories...and now I'm discussing peer pressure, sex, and drugs. I never knew what true worrying was until I was thrown into it today at her orientation. I was forced to face the fact that my little girl is growing up. And now more than ever she is needing me to help guide her in making real life choices.

So here goes nothin!


  1. That was so beautiful! and she is beautiful, too- which probably makes this scarier. But, it sounds like she has a great head on her shoulders and a supportive mama. :)

  2. should have put a warning on this post: Do not read if you have girls! Just kidding, it just made scared, because I've recently started to realize how time truly does fly when you have kids. I'm sure you are a great Mom, and will be there every step of the way!